Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize