Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize