Already got asked if we're dating
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
