It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize