did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
