oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
