i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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