He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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