For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
