My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
