Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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