Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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