Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
