he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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