Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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