i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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