The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
