the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
