How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
