And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
