im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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