When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
