dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Can Purell be used as lube?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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