I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
