I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
