You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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