is your mom at the bar?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize