??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
