The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
