Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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