I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
