Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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