if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
