Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
