I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
