Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
