Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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