jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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