this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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