Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
