i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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