Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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