That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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