They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
