Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
