took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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