...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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