eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
