i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
