your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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