I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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