If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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