you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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