You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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