his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have post one night stand depression
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
