I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
