yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
