I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
